Confessions of a Fat Girl

It’s official: This blog will now be a diary of my workout/weigh loss struggles, lessons, successes and bitter failures.

So let’s start with being fat. I am. I am not one of those skinny girls who goes around and says how fat they are so that people will say “oh honey you aren’t fat” or whatever.  That isn’t me.  Though I did  fit into a pair of size 9 Lee Jeans once. Sure I was 18. I had been hospitalized for over a week with Strep Throat, Mono,  and Hepatitis. I was so dehydrated that the IV keep falling out of my arm/my hand/ where ever they tried to stick it. When I got out of the hospital the first thing I did was weigh myself.  The second thing I did was tried on the Lee Jeans I could never fit into.  There was a glow in the room.. angles sang… the zipper zipped up. I could still sit down! I was a size 9. Maybe.. just for one day….

I won’t whine about being fat. It was my own doing. I spent about 2-3 years nightly on a bar stool and even though it was Bud light, it was also Mozzarella sticks and nachos. Never having been a skinny chick, that began the decline.

So now here I am, about a million years and a million pounds later. A few years ago I lost about 65 pounds thanks to working out and Weight Watchers, then life changes led to stress eating. At least I can say I didn’t gain it all back. I never gained back the last 11 pounds. Throw me a party!

In 614 days I turn 50. Basically I don’t want to be this person anymore. I am tired of walking into a room and scanning around to see if I am the largest person there. I am tired of obsessing for a week or more about whether I will be able to fit in the seat of the airplane.  Or the worst.. the time I went and bought Spanx hoping that would help me fit in that airplane seat, only to then start obsessing about cutting off the blood flow to my lower limbs, causing me to get deep leg thrombosis and then just as I hit big at the first casino, fall dead on the casino floor!! Sorry for the inconvenience  New York New York.. but I had to wear the Spanx. So actually I didn’t. I didn’t want to hit a big jackpot and then die. So I didn’t do either. No big Jackpot.. no death.  I did fit in the airline seat. Barely.

So this is the plan. No real diet plan except smart eating. Trying to eat a salad every night.  Trying to some how incorporate some fruit into the diet – what happened to those apples Susan?? Trying to eventually hit 96 oz of water a day- the goal right now is 72. Eat whole grains. No pop, not even diet.  And please please stop eating those Low Fat Raspberry muffins at Starbucks.. they do not count as your fruit, Susan.. you muffin loser!

Except for the damn muffin I am doing “okay” at following my meal plans.  I made the mistake of buying a big box of Honey Nut Cheerios instead of Multi-Grain Cheerios and boy.. what a disappoint Honey Nut has been.. hence the muffins ;-(.

Exercise:  4-5 times a week. At least 30 mins of the Elliptical every time. Alternate cardio/strength days with just Cardio day. If I make to the health club on Monday, I almost always hit that 4-5 day goal.  Tomorrow will be day 5.  If I miss Monday, then the rest of the week is a struggle. Last week I made it twice, but I have done that bad in a few months, so I am not beating myself up about it.

We’ll see what happens.

The Goal:  Fit for 50.

Let’s go!

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4 responses to “Confessions of a Fat Girl

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